I’m writing this blog for myself, my future self as a reminder of swhat I felt, know and did in the past. At least some of it when I feel like writing.
Today, for the first time in a while I felt down. I’m in a very strange part in my life, at a young age I had a vision of what my life would look like, what I would be like at this age ( 27 years)
It was my choice to do this. To go on the journey of entrepreneurship, the journey full of uncertainties.
I started this Journey very seriously at a young age of 20 years old, since then I’ve been constantly pursuing success. Sure, there were years where I was lost and kinda faked hustled, particularly on 2015 & 2016.
Last year, 2017 was the year where it started to get clear.
Clear goals, clear actions.
2017 – I started making videos on YouTube.
To build a brand. To build something.
I finished 2017 making a total of 52 videos, making 2017 the year I have made the most content.
But the hard truth was I also finished 2017 with almost non existent results.
less than a 10 subscribers, most of them where family members and some friends.
2017 was about to end in just a few minutes.
Again, I was left looking at the bright fireworks frustrated, down and wondering if I’ll ever make my parents proud of me, my mom proud of me, myself proud.
My mom has done so much for me.
I want to make her proud of me. I want to have the ability to make her happy. I want to have the money so I can make her have the option to not work as hard as she does now.
I was left wondering, anxious if I’ll ever be able to do it.
Just a few minutes in the year of 2018, I pulled myself together, I need to make this work. I owe a lot to my mom, the least I can do is to make this work.
I started 2018 with a mindset, that 2017 was a failed year because I didn’t do enough.
So I started 2018 with a mindset to do MORE. Substantially more.
Today as of this writing, I have already uploaded a total of 36 videos. Compared that to last year at this point of the year, I only have uploaded 19 videos.
I almost doubled my output of last year’s 5 month run.
Even then, today I felt kinda odd, I looked at my numbers ( views, money spent, money remaining) and the pieces doesn’t look good.
Even though I’m pacing to do more videos this year, I’m a results guy.
The reason I work harder, and make no excuses is because I want to get results.
Even then, today I kinda feel odd, felt sad a little bit, some negative emotion slid in and left me thinking of the consequences of me pursuing this and failing.
Maybe later, or maybe tomorrow this feeling will go away.